Thankfulness

I have so many things to be thankful for right now. It's been a rough year...there is no way on earth I could have predicted any of the crazy things that I've been through this year...and yet, there have been so many blessings in the process. Blessings that would not have been nearly as meaningful without the pain that came before.

The biggest one is the precious little gummy bear growing in my tummy right now. I didn't realize how much I had taken for granted having a healthy, normal pregnancy with Cade. Yes, it's very obvious when there's something growing inside you that it is a miracle, but not until you've been through losing a baby do you understand just how fragile and miraculous the whole process is. I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow, and cannot count the times that it seemed that we wouldn't make it that far. But by the grace of God, here we are!

A little over a week ago, I lost my grandma. It's been kind of strange for me. I haven't really been emotional about it. She's been in a nursing home, completely bedridden, on a feeding tube, for months. She suffered from Alzheimer's, in addition to other things going on, and I really, truly feel that this was for the best. I've thought that for a while now...her quality of life was nonexistent, and I feel confident she's up in heaven now, and that's a way better place than she ever had here. I didn't cry at the funeral. In fact, the only time I've really cried about it was when my mom called to tell me and I wasn't able to go be with her right then because we were out of town. (This is actually somewhat unusual...I seem to cry at the drop of a hat now that I'm a mom...good grief!) But I think it was a lot easier for me to deal with because it was time and I know where she is.

As we head into the Christmas season (which is not my favorite time of year, anyway), I hope that I can continue to find the blessings in everything. It sure makes for a better attitude :)