Another giveaway

My friend Erin is having another giveaway on her Caked blog. Check it out here and you can win a subscription to Real Simple magazine for a year! I'm hoping to win so maybe my house will someday look as cute as hers!!! :)

Also, you should definitely look around on her blog at all the cakes, cookies, and goodies she's made. I can vouch that everything I have ever eaten that she has made is TASTY!

Giveaways

I love entering giveaways. My current addiction is entering giveaways that involve cloth diapers. I have just a few cloth diapers right now, but I'd love to increase my stash so that I can do them more full-time with baby #2.

Thought I'd share this giveaway if anyone is interested...it's enough cloth diapers to get anyone started!! Check it out here on MommyReview.com.

The Grinch, part 2

The other day, I was talking to a friend about my refusal to put up a Christmas tree. (I will say again, and again, show me where in the Bible God tells us we need to celebrate His Son's birth by putting up a Christmas tree...until then, I am not a bad mother, Christian, or PERSON for not putting one up!) She mentioned how she has several nativity scenes that she puts out every year.


It got me to thinking. I want my children to understand the real meaning of Christmas. Ryan and I have already discussed that we don't want to put a huge emphasis on presents with our kids (wish we could get OTHER members of the fam on board with that, but oh, well :). We want our kids to be about giving, not receiving, and not just at Christmas, either. I'm thinking that focusing on the nativity scene would be a great way to help keep Jesus as the center, rather than a tree, or presents, or Santa. We still have another year before anything would really need to start as a tradition, so there's still time for us to think about it and figure out exactly what we want to do with it. But I'm pondering the possibilities...

The Grinch

That's me.

Christmas is not my favorite holiday. When I was a kid, I liked Christmas just fine. Wasn't ever one of those wake-up-at-4-am-because-I-was-so-excited-and-had-to-open-presents-immediately kind of kids, but it was fun. I got to see all of my extended family in one day. And I mean all. Neither of my parents were from large families, and everyone lived in the same town, so we always got together. Christmas lunch with one side, Christmas dinner with the other. And I never knew any different.

Then my parents got divorced. And everything changed. Kind of sucks having to be the grown-up and make decisions on who you were going to see when. That's about the time that I started disliking Christmas. So it's not really Christmas, actually, that I dislike. It's more the forced spending of time and buying of gifts for people who you no longer really know. But it just made me rebel against the holiday in general. Add to the that the fact that I do NOT like to be told what to do, nor do I appreciate things being expected of me just because of the day of the year, and Christmas really is the perfect storm for my rebellion :)

And then I got married. Awesomeness. (note: the sarcasm is not actually directed at the fact that I am married right now...I love my husband dearly, especially since he tends to mostly agree with me on all things Christmas) Add to the perfect storm another side of the family who doesn't live here. Not only that, but they LOVE Christmas. I mean, L O V E Christmas. Well, except for my father-in-law...bless him :) Now don't get me wrong, I love them dearly. But remember those things that I don't appreciate being expected of me just because of the day of the year? You would have thought I had told them I was a serial killer the first year they realized that putting up a Christmas tree was not on my to-do list. Ever. They (and allegedly, the heavens) rejoiced the year that some friends came over and put up a Christmas tree for us :)

And presents. Don't even get me started on presents. Here's the thing. I really actually thoroughly enjoy buying and/or making presents for people I love. It's even more enjoyable when I actually have fantastic ideas on things to get them that they will really like. But don't make me buy things for my second cousins who I see twice a year. Or my grandparents who I see once a year. It just makes me angry to have to buy things because it's expected when I know that it's going to sit on a shelf somewhere, unopened and unused. It's a waste of my time and money, and their space. Chances are good that if I don't have any idea what to get you, you don't have any idea what to get me, so it seems logical that there should be no presents exchanged by said parties. Then no time, money, or space is wasted. That hasn't gone over well yet. Maybe someday... :)

Until then, I'll be busy trying to think of how to teach my sweet Cade and the little gummy bear about what Christmas really means.

Thankfulness

I have so many things to be thankful for right now. It's been a rough year...there is no way on earth I could have predicted any of the crazy things that I've been through this year...and yet, there have been so many blessings in the process. Blessings that would not have been nearly as meaningful without the pain that came before.

The biggest one is the precious little gummy bear growing in my tummy right now. I didn't realize how much I had taken for granted having a healthy, normal pregnancy with Cade. Yes, it's very obvious when there's something growing inside you that it is a miracle, but not until you've been through losing a baby do you understand just how fragile and miraculous the whole process is. I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow, and cannot count the times that it seemed that we wouldn't make it that far. But by the grace of God, here we are!

A little over a week ago, I lost my grandma. It's been kind of strange for me. I haven't really been emotional about it. She's been in a nursing home, completely bedridden, on a feeding tube, for months. She suffered from Alzheimer's, in addition to other things going on, and I really, truly feel that this was for the best. I've thought that for a while now...her quality of life was nonexistent, and I feel confident she's up in heaven now, and that's a way better place than she ever had here. I didn't cry at the funeral. In fact, the only time I've really cried about it was when my mom called to tell me and I wasn't able to go be with her right then because we were out of town. (This is actually somewhat unusual...I seem to cry at the drop of a hat now that I'm a mom...good grief!) But I think it was a lot easier for me to deal with because it was time and I know where she is.

As we head into the Christmas season (which is not my favorite time of year, anyway), I hope that I can continue to find the blessings in everything. It sure makes for a better attitude :)

My doctor

As I write this post, I am still a bit traumatized. Like I told some friends earlier, in the grand scheme of things, this bump in the road is not a big deal. But to this been-through-a-lot-already-this-year pregnant gal, it's a big deal. I've already spent a fair amount of crying about it.

For those of you who have not formed a close relationship with your doctor, this is probably going to make you roll your eyes. But when you've been through everything I have, and this one particular doctor has been there to help you through it all, you get attached. I mean, not every doctor calls to check on you while they're on vacation. Mine has.

When I went to my check-up this morning (FOURTEEN WEEKS TOMORROW!! YAY!!), I found my doctor's office locked up with the lights off and a sign explaining where to go if you're looking for a particular doctor. My doctor has been a part of a larger practice, and they have split up. Like 3 days ago. She has joined another group, which happens to be across the street (accessible by an airbridge...thank you for not making me walk outside! :).

Ryan and I made our way over there, where I had to fill out new patient paperwork and then wait for an eternity to see my doctor. So we spent a fair amount of time in the waiting room. Which I did not like. It was all trendy, moderny looking, with TVs on the walls, and people. Lots of people. So it was fairly noisy. Not a fan. At the other office, when you walked in, you could hear a pin drop. Well, not really, because it was carpeted, but you get the point. It was a calm environment. Ryan said today he felt like he was sitting in a store at the mall. Not the feeling I'm going for at the doctor's office.

Once we finally got in to see her (and she brought her nurse with her- I like her, too), she apologized for the craziness, and then broke the bad news. The hospital that I delivered Cade at, the hospital that I am planning to deliver this new little baby at - she can't deliver there anymore. This new group she's in only delivers at another local hospital. One that I wouldn't necessarily mind delivering at (other than it's different than what I've done before, and different is NEVER good, right?), except that it would cost several thousand dollars more. Um, no, thank you. I started crying, then she teared up and told me to quit crying before she lost it, and then we listened to my baby's heartbeat. And it was there. And it was strong.

Which is really what this is about. She knows that, and I know that, but so far on this journey, we've been able to share all of the ups and downs. She made me promise to send her a picture of the baby. She made the comment that it would take a miracle for her to be able to deliver my baby at the hospital I want to, and we've already had one miracle, so chances probably aren't good for another one. And we agreed that the miracle we've already seen is definitely the more important one :)

So life will go on. I'll figure out a new doctor to go to (I've got one in mind), and I'll have this baby, and the world will keep turning around. But today, I'm sad.

Roller coaster

It's fair to say that this entire year has been a roller coaster. There have been some extreme highs, followed by some devastating lows. However, by the grace of God, we're on a high right now, and desperately praying to stay that way for a while.

I am 8 weeks pregnant. Today.

I have had 3 ultrasounds so far, with a fourth scheduled in 2 weeks. Let me start at the beginning...

Four weeks ago tomorrow, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. At the request of my husband, I took another one (one that wasn't from the dollar store...apparently those "don't count"). It was also positive. We immediately called family to let them know, so they could start praying. I called the doctor to schedule an appointment because they wanted to see me at 6 weeks, rather than the normal 8 weeks, because of my previous ectopic pregnancy. I went in at 6 weeks, 2 days for an ultrasound and appointment with my doctor.

The ultrasound tech couldn't find a baby that day (Sept. 23). There was a sac, but she could not find a baby in it. My doctor prepared us for the worst. It could be a blighted ovum. This means that the egg was fertilized, but just never developed into a baby. If this were the case, my body would naturally miscarry at some point in the near future. She sent us off for labwork to test my hormone levels, and told me that if they looked good, we'd repeat on Monday, and if they were increasing the way they should, we'd have another ultrasound that week.

My numbers from the first bloodwork looked great. They were actually on the high side. We prayed. And prayed. And prayed. I have never in my life prayed so earnestly and continuously for something. We repeated bloodwork on Monday. My numbers doubled, making them super-high. So we prayed some more. My doctor, who was on vacation, called to check on my numbers and to order another ultrasound for me the next day.

The next day, they found a baby! The heartrate wasn't as high as I expected, and they couldn't get good measurements, but by golly, there was a baby! The doctor I saw that day wanted me to repeat in a week, so they could verify the due date. So yesterday we went back again. That sweet little (heart-attack-inducing :) baby is still there, and had doubled in size. We got good measurements, and everything looks right on schedule.

When we saw my doctor after the ultrasound, she was amazed. She hadn't heard anything about last week's ultrasound, and was kind of sad to see my chart come up, because she assumed it was not going to be good. She told us several times that there was no medical explanation for how there wasn't a baby, and now there is. She finally said that there really are miracles in this world, and this baby is definitely one. Based on my numbers, there is no reason for there to have not been a baby, and medically, they could have deemed it a "no pregnancy" and advised me to have a D&C.

But I believe in a God who answers prayers and does miracles on a daily basis. I firmly believe that there wasn't a baby, but because of our faith and prayers, God put one in there. Because He can do that. We just have to ask.

Please join us in praying for our little miracle. Thank you!

(Other details, if you're interested: My due date is May 17. I will have a scheduled c-section because of my c-section with Cade, and it will be 6-8 days before my actual due date.)

caked

My lovely friend Erin is hosting a giveaway on her new cake blog, caked. Go check out her blog. Her work is fabulous! But please don't enter the giveaway...I want to win!!! :)

Mom to mom

Mom to mom is a ministry to, well, moms. I know, it's hard to tell that from the name. I attended a Mom to Mom group last year in a nearby town and loved it. It was so great to get to meet and chat with other stay-at-home moms. It was my first year staying home with Cade, and I didn't have many friends who stayed home with their kids. Transitioning from being a working wife to a stay-at-home mom is a pretty big adjustment, and having people who have been there, done that really helps.

So this year, one of my friends got the crazy idea that we should start a Mom to Mom ministry at our own church. In the past year or so, our Sunday School class has gone from one or two SAHMs to more than 5, not to mention the other ones in our church who aren't in our class. And our town just seems to be full of SAHMs.

So we began the process...meeting with people who might be interested, meeting with them again, calling and harassing them, meeting again, begging, whining, and pleading for others to help, and doing paperwork. Oh, the paperwork. And the paperwork. Did I mention the paperwork? Creating documents seemed to be neverending. And then printing them (or asking our lovely ladies at our church to print them for us...bless them for putting up with us and our children for HOURS! :). And then cutting them, or folding them, or mailing them, or sticking labels on them, or realizing after they were done that they weren't right, and deciding that we didn't care.

BUT.

Last Friday morning was our first meeting. We had 18 mamas show up with 24 kiddos. And it was fantastic. We got to meet quite a few new mamas, and catch up with some old mamas (old as in, known them a long time, not old as in, OLD :), and it was just great. We have 4 of the best small group leaders that we could have ever asked for. I'm looking forward to a fantastic year, and I'm so glad that we have all of these moms that are as excited about this ministry as we have been! Makes it all worthwhile.

If you're interested, let me know and I'll get you the information!

Walking

Cade is now a walker! It's been almost 3 weeks since little man decided to start taking multiple steps on his own. But it's only been about a week since he decided to make it his primary method of travel.

He is so funny. He's done this weird sort of sideways crawl/scoot thing for a long time because he always wants to carry something with him, but that's kind of difficult when you crawl. So he improvised. I've been explaining to him for forever now that if he would just walk, he can carry things in both hands (I just don't understand why he wasn't getting it :). And then last week, it was like a light bulb went off in his head...."Oh! So if I walk, I can carry stuff in BOTH of my hands! That's cool!" So he's been mostly walking everywhere instead of just walking until he falls down and then crawling the rest of the way. He's pretty stinkin' cute.

This new walking business has actually helped my life slow down a little bit. Cade is what you might call a rocket crawler. He's seriously the fastest crawler I've ever seen ever. When he walks, however, he has to slow down. A lot. Because he hasn't mastered the running thing yet (thank goodness!!). So I'm kind of enjoying this phase (in spite of EVERYONE telling me "You just wait...you'll never be able to catch him after her starts walking!"....gotta love all the well-meaning words of wisdom :).

Crunchy

This is a new word. Someone used it to describe me when I said that I had bought some cloth diapers. I had heard it before, but didn't ever know what it meant (thank you, Google: "green" or environmentally friendly). While that isn't my number one reason for trying cloth diapers, it certainly isn't a bad one.

Cloth diapers are a little intimidating. OK, a lot intimidating. One of the main reasons why I haven't tried them out on my little darlin'. But I was invited to a cloth diaper party by one of my friends who switched to cloth diapers on her second baby due to allergies, so I thought I'd go and check it out. And really, it didn't sound that hard. Sure, it involves more laundry. And while I hate doing laundry, I don't actually mind the washing part of laundry. It's the folding clothes part of laundry that I so detest. And cloth diapers are heavy on the washing part, and not so much on the folding part (at least the kind I got :).

So I bought two. They've been washed, used once (pooped in both of them...of course), and washed again. And they still look new! What?! For real. Can't even tell that those suckers have been used. Yet. Now I know they'll eventually start looking a little less pristine, but I honestly expected it to happen instantly. And it didn't.

I'll do another post after we've used them a little longer and let you know what I think then!

I highly recommend Andrea with Little Squigglers. You can check her website out here. She did the party I went to, and has been super-helpful getting me started!

Six years

Six years ago today, I married Ryan. In Guatemala. In a ceremony that I would pay dearly to have recorded. I actually wish I had that on tape more than even our real wedding ceremony that took place exactly a year later. In America. The only proof of that first ceremony is in a single picture and the memories of the few that were there. But it was the beginning.

We were on a mission trip to Guatemala. Our fearless leader, who is like a father to me, had been giving me grief for months that I was an old maid (you know, I had been graduated from college over a year and wasn't married yet...oh, the horrors! :). So he decided that he needed to get me married off. To whoever. Thanks, Kev. He originally wanted me to "marry" Ryan's best friend, who was also with us. He, however, had a girlfriend, and really was not my type (love ya, Mike! :). So our last night there, I told Ryan about what was going on and asked him if he would marry me instead. He agreed. (Please keep in mind that this week was really the first time I had talked to him. And he was THREE years younger than me!)

Our pastor, who was also there, refused to be a part of the whole thing. Kev said he would only do it if we agreed to actually kiss. Ryan said, "I'm game if she's game." To which I said, "Whatever." So there was a ceremony that included things such as "I promise to always do whatever he tells me to do" and other lame things that Kev made up as he went. And at the end, Ryan kissed me. You can see in the one picture we have of it that I totally wasn't expecting him to do that. And then we locked ourselves in Ryan's room. And looked at each other. And laughed. All while a crowd of people banged on the door, and I waited for Ryan to kiss me again. Which he didn't. So I gave up and we went back out.

About a week later, Ryan called me to ask me on a date. I said yes. (Duh.)

(By the way, I waited on that next kiss for MONTHS. Two and a half, to be exact. Not that I'm bitter. :)

About three months later, Ryan asked me to marry him. I said yes. (Double duh.)

We got married for real exactly one year after that ceremony in Guatemala.

I love him more every day. We have been through so much together in the five years we've been married. Ryan has gotten three degrees and I've gotten one to add to the one I already had. We bought a house. We bought Ryan a used car. And then a new one. We got a dog. We've gone through one whole pregnancy and had our first baby. We've gone through the loss of another baby. We've made it on one salary for a year. And this is still just the beginning.

I can't imagine going through life with anyone else by my side. I don't want to. It seems that every day there's something else I realize about us that God so perfectly orchestrated.

I love you, baby daddy. Can't wait to see what's next.

Swimming

Today was the second time I've taken Cade swimming in the past 2 weeks. He's officially a fan. Last summer, when he was 3 months old, he went swimming with his Aunt Amy and soon-to-be Uncle Bryant the weekend of their wedding. He wasn't too sure about it then. About a month ago, he got in a small pool with some friends and seemed to like it pretty well. Last week, when he got in a big pool for the first time this year (and the first time ever with Mommy), he LOVED it. It's like a big bath tub. You can splash! You can pee! What could be better than that? (Well, you know, if you're a baby :)

Where I've been

Here's your fair warning: this is going to be long and emotional. Continue reading at your own risk.

It's now been two weeks. Two weeks since all hell broke loose in my life. And we're still picking up the pieces, and I'm sure will continue to do so for quite some time. You see, three weeks and one day ago, I took a pregnancy test. Two of them, in fact. They were positive. Ryan and I were cautiously excited. There had been some weirdnesses in my body that I'll spare the details of, but enough so that we didn't immediately start jumping up and down. In fact, I went ahead and went to the doctor 2 days later, just to be sure everything was ok. Everything looked ok, I did bloodwork twice, and all of that looked fine, too.

So Mother's Day weekend, we told our moms. It was getting exciting. My second Mother's Day with Cade, and I was pregnant, too. I was excited about the timing of our announcement, as well as the spacing of our kids.

Sunday evening, I started feeling terrible. It went from bad to worse in a very short amount of time. I was having horrible pain in my abdomen. Ryan wanted to take me to the ER, but I wanted to tough it out. My mom came over for a while, but I started feeling enough better that we sent her home and went on to bed. I couldn't ever get to sleep, and around 1:45 I woke Ryan up because the pain had gotten horrific again. He called my mom and she came over to stay with Cade while we went to the hospital.

We got right in (bless small-town hospitals that are not busy!) and did all the usual stuff. We eventually had an ultrasound, and the tech found the baby's heartbeat and said everything looked fine with that. They started me on fluids and then some antibiotics because my white blood cell count was slightly elevated. I was still in some pain, but not as much. A surgeon came in to see me and wanted to do a CT scan to make sure it wasn't my appendix. Doing a CT scan while pregnant poses some danger to the baby, but they felt it was more important to find out what was wrong with me because a ruptured appendix would most definitely harm the baby. So we (tearfully) made the decision to go ahead with it.

I drank this gross stuff to prepare for it. An hour or so later, they came back and said that the radiologist refused to do a CT on a pregnant woman. The ER dr was on the phone with my OB, debating on whether to transfer me to the hospital where my OB could see me, but eventually decided to just admit me to the hospital and observe me. We hung out there all day. My pain had subsided into terrible soreness in my entire abdomen. They sent us home that night without ever actually diagnosing me with anything.

The rest of that week, Ryan's mom stayed with us to help take care of Cade because I was not functional. She took Cade back to Arkansas with her on Thursday, which had already been planned because we were supposed to be leaving to go to DC. We cancelled our trip, but she took Cade anyway so we could still have some time with just the two of us. On Thursday afternoon, my OB's office called. She wanted to see me the next day. They had gotten my chart from the ER visit and were concerned about a huge drop in my hemoglobin. She felt sure that I had lost a significant amount of blood somewhere (I hadn't bled any during the visit to the hospital or later in the week). They also scheduled me for another ultrasound.

Friday morning. I go in to the lab to get blood taken for the 4th time that week (not counting the IV from the hospital). We head over to the dr's office for the ultrasound. It takes the tech about 10 minutes to say she needed to talk to the dr. Her printer wasn't working, so she went to get my dr and bring her in to the room. We knew something wasn't right. But I also knew she had found a heartbeat, so it couldn't have been that bad, right? Wrong.

They showed us a picture of my uterus. It was completely empty. There was nothing there. The pregnancy (in spite of what the ultrasound tech in the ER in our cute little small-town hospital said) was ectopic. My OB said that it had attached in my left tube, and everything that I had gone through on the previous Sunday night was most likely that tube rupturing. All of the symptoms I had had were classic tubal pregnancy. She was very confused as to why they had not caught it that night, because she had specifically asked them to make sure it wasn't ectopic, and they assured her it wasn't. The huge drop in my hemoglobin was due to about a liter of blood that was around my uterus. Also the reason for my soreness in my abdomen all week.

She said that we had to take care of it immediately. The baby, at that point, still had a heartbeat. This meant that, although it wasn't in my uterus, it had found a blood supply somewhere. But there was no way the baby could survive. And if we waited much longer, it would kill me, too.

We went straight over to the hospital. I had laparascopic surgery to remove the pregnancy, and they had to remove my left tube as well because of the extent of the damage. It was outpatient, so we went home after I came out of the anesthesia. The first day or so after that is a complete blur. I slept a lot. I cried a lot. That was pretty much all I did until Tuesday when Cade finally came back home.

Ryan's mom and sister stayed with us from Tuesday to Thursday to help me and keep up with Cade. I still haven't been released to lift him, so I can't be by myself with him at all. My mom stayed with me Friday, and Ryan's mom will be back tonight to stay with me until I can be Cade's full-time mommy again.

I am so grateful for my wonderful friends and family who stepped up to help. We wouldn't have made it through this time without them. We love you all.

I ask that you would continue praying for us. I'm healing physically, but emotionally still very raw (although I have finally stopped randomly crying every hour, so that's progress!). The sorrow of losing a baby is indescribable. Adding to that right now is frustration at not being able to take care of the child I already have. He wants his mommy to pick him up and doesn't understand why I can't. But I'm able to do more with him every day, so that helps.

I haven't been praying a whole lot through this. But I know God is still there. And He is still taking care of me. Because if He weren't, I'm pretty sure I would still be crying constantly.

I cannot even describe how wonderful Ryan has been through all of this. He has been my rock. Not that I had any doubt before, but it is very clear how much he loves me. I don't even want to think about some of the things he has had to do for me in the last two weeks. I love him so much and couldn't even think about going through any of this with anyone else.

Guns

Let me start this post by stating that I am NOT a gun person. I've never held or even touched a gun in my life. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've seen guns in real life (other than police officers or the gun case at Walmart :). Frankly, they scare the pee out of me. However, there has been a rash of burglaries recently in the area where I live. And this week, my friend's house was broken into. Not just one of my friends. One of my friends whose house I am at all the time. I go over to her house at least once a week. Now clearly, my feelings on the matter can't even come close to comparing to hers, but it is still very disconcerting to think about some unknown criminal having been inside a place that you frequent.

Also, adding to my feelings is the fact that I am a stay-at-home mommy with a baby. And it's just amazing how easily and quickly you slip into a mama bear protectiveness about your child. Like the kind of protectiveness where you would do absolutely anything to ensure your child's safety. Which I believe at this point might mean owning a gun. Now don't get me wrong...I do not have visions in my head of shooting and killing a burglar and rejoicing because the bad guys lost that round. My first instinct will always be to try to get out of the situation. But if that's not possible, I feel like I need something other than a baseball bat :)

So. I began researching yesterday. (I basically have a degree in research, and I kind of enjoy it...my master's is Library and Information Studies, which means I learned how to search effectively for information, analyze that information, and also hook kids up with books they like :).
My head is now spinning. I had no idea all of the different options. Shotgun or handgun? Revolver or semi-automatic? Single-action or double-action? Not to even mention all of the different calibers. Holy moly. Of course, everything I read about self-defense talks about how the best gun is one you're comfortable with and are capable of using. If you get one that you don't know how to use or aren't comfortable with, it doesn't do you any good. Well, thanks. What with my vast experience with guns, that definitely helps narrow it down.

The two recommendations I've received thus far include a .38 special and a 9 mm. My husband laughed at me last night when I told him what I thought about revolvers...they all look like they're from the Old West and I don't like them. (Well, good grief, I think looks are important, too! If it doesn't LOOK like it can seriously hurt you, how's it going to scare off a robber?!?)

And a big thanks to TV and movies. Due to all of the action movies I've watched, I believe very strongly that the bad guys all have horrible aim and rarely actually shoot the good guys. Due to all of the crime scene dramas I watch, I believe very strongly that if you get shot, you're going to die (although this is tempered slightly by watching medical dramas...they can usually save the GSW victims :).

It did occur to me this morning that this is something that Ryan and I definitely need to pray about. I think that it is a big step to bring a gun into your home, especially when you have children. I also want to make sure that I'm still putting my trust in God to protect me and my family. But if it's cool with Him for me to have the means to protect myself and my fam, then gun ownership, here we come!

Thoughts? Suggestions? A free gun to give me? (That's another thing...who knew how expensive guns are?!?)

Babies everywhere! (and they're GIRLS!)

Last Thursday, another one of my friends had a baby. (And yes, it was on April Fool's Day, and yes, it was actually planned that way :) I went up to the hospital to see them a few hours after she was born. I. Love. Her.

Now, this is the second close friend who has had a baby girl recently. And generally speaking, I'm completely biased against girls. I mean, yeah, they're cute and all, blah, blah, blah. But I have a BOY. And I love him. And there's just nothing like him (well, until I have another one of my own, I suppose :). And I have no need to dress him up or put bows in his hair or really, do anything extra to him (although he did look fantastically adorable yesterday in his Easter outfit, which is the most dressed up he's EVER been). He's just cute. And being a rather low-maintenance kind of person myself, I appreciate that. A lot. Little baby girls intimidate the crap out of me. They wear dresses. They wear bows. They wear headbands. They wear tights. They need their hair fixed. I'm getting worn out just thinking about all of the things that little girls involve. (Did I mention that I love boys?)

However.

These 2 baby girls just might change my mind.

I had always planned to have a boy first, then a girl, and past that, I didn't really care. After I had Cade, I decided that all boys would be absolutely fantastic, thank you very much. And that's pretty much been my mindset for the past 11 months. I've informed God of this. Almost on a daily basis. So I think He knows my feelings on the matter.

But.

I love these 2 baby girls.

So maybe it wouldn't be tooooooo bad to have a little girl. Someday. After I watch how my friends manage it :)

It's been crazy around here

Wow! A lot has happened in the past few weeks! Which would be why I haven't been posting on here. So, the highlights:

*My in-laws came to stay with us one weekend. Cade had a lot of fun with them (and Ryan and I got a little tiny bit of time with no Cade) and I'm pretty sure they may have had more fun than he did :)

*Ryan got sick. This is so out of the ordinary, it's not even funny. He hasn't even been to the doctor since I've known him (other than to get a physical for college). Even more shocking than that, he missed a day of work. Which actually worked out nicely because...

*Cade got sick. He fought a cough for 2 weeks (during which time I took him to the doctor and there wasn't anything she could do), and then the cough got worse and he got a fever. It made it up to 102, which is the highest this mama has had to deal with. Back to the doctor we went, and she decided his cough had turned into a sinus infection. So we've been doing amoxicillin twice a day for over a week. At least he likes to take it!

*My next door neighbor had her baby! He was three weeks early, but you sure couldn't tell by looking at him! I can't wait to actually get to see him...as soon as my child is 100% better (and we're almost there!), we'll go visit!

*One of my best friends had her baby! In the span of 2 days, I was woken up twice by middle-of-the-night texts about babies...those are way better than the other kind of texts you get in the middle of the night :) I went to see her the day she was born and she's absolutely beautiful! And I get to see her again today! Yay!

*We had someone come to our church in view of a call to be our new minister of music (they changed the name to something like minister of music and the arts...whatever. Music minister :). And apparently we all liked him. Only 2 people voted no. That could be a record at a Baptist church. :) I'm super-excited about this. They have a little boy who's about 2 1/2 months older than Cade. Poor Cade is always surrounded by girls (not that I think he really minds), so now he'll have a boy buddy! And it's looking like his parents are going to fit in perfectly! Such an answer to prayer!

*Cade is crawling all over the place. He's getting super-fast. He has also started to pull up more on things. Just waiting for the day that I go in to get him out of bed and he's standing there looking at me... :)

*I'm still nursing, but we've started the weaning process. We've dropped one feeding and that went really smoothly. Even though I dropped his bedtime feeding, he's done well so far. We'll see how smoothly it goes when the time comes to drop the morning feeding...

*I know there have been other things going on, but those are the ones I can think of right now. :)

LOC possibility

Ryan and I are going to Washington, DC in May. Just the two of us, which is exciting enough as it is :) Cade gets to go stay with Nana and Papa at his first Nana and Papa Camp. I think they're as excited to keep Cade as we are to get to go somewhere without him...so it works out for everyone involved.

We've been to DC before. When Ryan's cousin graduated from the Naval Academy a couple of years ago, we went to see him graduate and also took a quick day trip into DC. If you've ever been there, you know there's no possible way to see even a fraction of what's there in that amount of time. But we did get to see some things, so that was cool. One of the things we did do was go to the Library of Congress. They were doing some construction, but it was open. There's what I refer to as the "outer" part, where it's kind of like a museum with displays and audio tours and such. We walked around that part. LAME.

I want to go into where the BOOKS are. Hello, it's a library. Aren't BOOKS what makes it a library? (Book are actually only part of what makes something a library. The information stored there is what actually makes it a library. I know. Total nerd.) The part where the books are is not accessible to the public. You can peek in a little window and see them, but apparently you have to have special permission (like as in, you're doing super-important research) to go into where the books are. You know where this is going...

Last time we were there, I actually walked all over the place trying to figure out how to sneak in. I definitely ended up in some places where I was not supposed to be, but alas, never in the library part. This time, I called our wonderful United States Representative, because his helpful website says that he can schedule tours of several places in DC for his constituents. The LOC is one of them. So I call and talk to his friendly little secretary girl. She's going to try to set up a tour of the White House and the Capitol for us. She's also going to try to set up a tour of the LOC for us. I explained to her that I have a master's degree in library science and I've seen the outer part of the LOC where the normal tours are, but it's very important to me to get to see the actual library part. She said she would try her best. I then added that if I can only do one of the three things I asked her for, the Library of Congress is the one I want. She said she understood. (Ryan may not be super-happy about that because I think he really wants to tour the White House if we can, but oh, well :)

(Side note: did you know that you have to give your full name, birthdate, and social security number to even be CONSIDERED for a tour of the White House? They run a full background check on everyone who asks to go on a tour. Holy cow.)

I'm excited. Now I know that this lovely girl (her name is Lauren) may not be able to deliver and I may end up disappointed. But it's exciting that she said she can try! And she was only my first phone call...I was prepared to write a letter to the President, and I may still. He hasn't done a whole heckuva lot for me. Getting me into to the LOC would go a long way in helping my opinion of him. I might even vote for him next time if he can pull that off. Hmmm...

God and His humor

I think that God sits around just laughing at us. Now obviously, He's rather busy listening to prayers and intervening in people's lives, but I think He probably just has to laugh at the things that we, as humans with narrow minds, do.

I started thinking about this the other day when I was praying for Cade's future wife. If he follows in his daddy's footsteps (which he may or may not, and that's ok), he'll marry a girl 3 years older than he is. Which means that currently, she would have just turned 4. It might be kind of weird to think about it like that, but that's what I'm saying. When Ryan was almost 1 and I had just turned 4, God already knew that He planned for us to get married. And so I think that sometimes, when Ryan was eating everything his mother put in front of him, and I was being the pickiest eater on the planet, God had to just sit and get tickled at what was to come. And when Ryan was being stubborn and refusing to give in to what his sisters and/or mom wanted, he was being prepared for a wife who needed him to be more stubborn than her (even if she doesn't really like it :). Again, God must have thought that was pretty funny.

It's kind of like when you know about a surprise before the person who the surprise is for knows. Like when my sister-in-law's boyfriend was going to propose. I knew about it several weeks in advance and was so excited for her, but she had no idea. Just waiting to hear about her reaction was so fun. And I think God is like that, too. He knows about ALL of the things that are in store for us. He planned them. And I'd like to think He gets excited when the things that He's planned for us happen and He gets to see our reaction. He obviously already knows what our reaction will be (just like I knew my sister-in-law was going to say "yes"), but actually seeing the reaction is different.

So when something awesome happens to you, just remember to thank God. And maybe smile at Him. Because I think He'd appreciate you acknowledging His hard work. And when something not-so-great happens, remember that God knew about it ahead of time, too. And it's all part of a bigger plan. A plan that you will probably get to laugh about once you have gotten through it. And one day, when we get to heaven we'll get to laugh WITH Him about it.

Of course, you only get to do that if you're a Christian (which I highly recommend). If you're not already, please check out http://mostimportantthing.com/. If you know my name, you can search for my testimony. If not, the whole website is full of Christians sharing how knowing Jesus changed their lives.

Baby shower

I was privileged to get to be a part of my dear friend Erin's baby shower this weekend. She's expecting her first, Emery Mae, on (or before :) March 12. Planning and organizing has been going on for months, it seems like, and I'm glad our efforts paid off!

We had a great group show up for the shower and (I think) everyone enjoyed themselves. Erin and Emery got lots of wonderful gifts, and I hope that all of the gifts that have been showered on them in the last few weeks have helped to ease (at least some of) the stress of having a baby. Erin has watched most of her close friends go through this process in the past few years and now it's her turn! Hopefully she's seen all of our mistakes and won't make the same ones! :)

I didn't get a chance to write in the "advice" book yesterday, so here's what I would have written...

Erin, I love you! (I'm getting all teary-eyed writing this and I'm not even pregnant!!) I hope you can relax and enjoy your last few weeks of being pregnant. I know you know you much you (and that sweet little thing in your belly) are loved, but don't forget it. Also, don't forget that this is your baby (ok, and Russell's) to raise. So you do what you feel is right, but don't hesitate to ask any of us ANYTHING. And then decide whether that advice works for you, or doesn't. I promise we won't make fun of you, because chances are, we had to ask somebody else the same question already :)
And it's ok to cry because you don't know why your baby is crying. Sometimes, that's the only thing there is to do. But crying (and even hysterical screaming) hasn't hurt Cade, and chances are good that it won't hurt Emery, either.
PS Cade said he'd be glad to come over and give her a hug and a kiss to calm her down if you can't handle it. ;)

Nine month check-up

Last Monday, I took Cade to the doctor for his nine month check-up. Our pediatrician was very pleased with all of the things he's able to do now. We've been given the official okay on feeding him "real" food, as long as it's mushy or soft. So that's what we've been doing. Last week, he had this beef and potato thing I make, hash brown soup, and last but not least, grandma's chicken and dumplings.

He was a little unsure about the beef and potato mixture. I think it was the texture of the ground beef that weirded him out a little bit (he's definitely related to my husband's side of the family...texture is a BIG deal to Ryan's sisters and dad :). But he ate it okay. Just made some funny faces in the process.

Cade really liked the hash brown soup. Which is good, because I'm pretty sure it's my new favorite thing to make. And Ryan really likes it, too.

But Cade LOVED grandma's chicken and dumplings. Which is easy to understand. My mom actually makes it from scratch, and you really can't beat homemade chicken and dumplings. Especially on a cold night. Which it has been around here. For days. Maybe months. Maybe years. OK, not really. But it sure seems like it!

His stats for his nine month check-up: 18 lbs, 10 oz and 30 inches long. Weight is the 19th percentile and height is the 93rd!! He is definitely a long, skinny baby. And I am definitely okay with that. I have a feeling clothes are going to get harder and harder to find for him, but there are worse problems to have than that!

New dishwasher

Several weeks ago, ok, more like two months ago, I noticed that the dishwasher was leaking when it was running. Not like it flooded the kitchen floor, but there was a definite puddle (that was slowly but surely ruining my rug!). Ryan watched it for a while, and finally, last weekend, he pulled the bottom of the dishwasher off to watch it while it ran. Lo and behold, it was dripping from 5 places. One of which was the motor. Yikes!!

We looked at a couple of places last weekend, just while we were out, and then I began some serious research. I checked out Consumer Reports (I can get to it through the public library...free :) and also looked at the websites for Sears, Lowe's, and Best Buy and read reviews from people who had actually purchased the specific dishwashers Consumer Reports rated highly. (And of course, I also asked for advice on Facebook)

That night, we went by Lowe's to look at a couple I had seen good reviews for, with no intention of purchasing one yet. Of course, they were having a sale that ended that day, coupled with free delivery and haul-away this month. I had narrowed it down to 2 or 3, but I couldn't remember which I had liked the best, so we went home so I could check out my list again. While I fed Cade and got him in bed, Ryan went back to Lowe's and ordered one.

And it came in to the store today so it will be delivered tomorrow morning!! Hooray! And we only had to do dishes by hand once (well, WE only did them once...I did them another time). But that sure will help me appreciate my new dishwasher! Here's hoping I picked a good one!!!!

Such a big boy

It's been a big boy week around here. Cade started off the week with crawling. I think he looks too little to be crawling around by himself, but Ryan pointed out that when someone is holding him, he looks like a toddler who should already be walking. He IS pretty long.

Last night, he had his first big boy bath. As in, he was sitting up in the bathtub all by himself (obviously not without supervision...how on earth can people do that?), without the bath seat that we have been using since he was born. The bath seat is put away for now, until #2 comes along to use it :)

He LOVED his bath. For the most part, he has been pretty tolerant of taking baths since he was born. Just a few times here and there that he was not so much the fan. But let me tell you, last night when he could splash, that was really something exciting. He grinned and giggled and tried to crawl in the bathtub (didn't work out so well for anyone involved), and we were all wet by the time he was done. He's definitely a splasher. I told Ryan that we're going to have to start wearing waterproof clothes for bathtime now.

He's 38 weeks old today, so he has now been out of my belly for as long as he was in it! (Well, technically tomorrow, since he was a day late :) Crazy!

Crawling!

It finally happened! Cade is officially a crawler now! He's been getting around pretty well for a month or so, and it's been pretty entertaining to watch how he does it. Kind of a combination army crawl/sit up and turn/flail on tummy/leapfrog. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean by that :)

But yesterday, he actually crawled for about 8 feet without stopping to flail on his tummy. (He was after Toby's rope...nevermind the 27 toys that were out that were actually HIS)

I guess this means I need to finish the baby-proofing. My guess is that the first casualty will be the Xbox 360 on the TV stand, because there's not a lot I can do about all of the stuff we have out on it. We shall see!

Global warming. Ha!

The school district I used to work for just announced that they are closed for the rest of the week, due to the arctic freeze we are supposed to get later this evening. I am slightly amused by this. I don't know that I ever remember them cancelling school for cold before. But it is supposed to be COLD. Like negative digits cold. Like I feel like I'm in Canada cold. (Seriously, I don't know how people actually live there. It's in the negative 30s on a regular basis. Yikes!)

Snow days used to be one of the highlights of my life. As a teacher, there just aren't that many perks to the low pay, high stress, and don't even get me started on the theoretical summers off and short work days (it would be a fantastic gig if you actually got to leave at 3:00 every day and didn't have professional development expected of you in the summer). BUT there's always the hope of the random, unexpected day or days off in the winter. Which, many times, I think is better than a planned day off. When you don't know it's coming, you don't have a list of things that you have to get done on your day off, making it a spectacular excuse to stay in bed until at least 10 or 11. Plus usually the weather is bad, so you shouldn't be leaving the house anyway.

So to my teacher friends: enjoy your snow days. You earned them. The kids are usually a mess after Christmas break anyway (procedures? what procedures? you want us to get in a what? a line?), so enjoy this brief reprieve :)

And to Al Gore: come visit Oklahoma. Apparently our weather didn't get your memo that the Earth is slowly warming up and the polar ice caps are melting away to nothing.

Games

I love to play games. Board games, card games, even some video games. When I was a kid, I was always the one who had to go beg my daddy to play a game with us. He was not so much the game person. Actually, now that I'm older and wiser (ha!), I think it was more that he would have rather played games with people he could be competitive with. Because a 10 year old and a 7 year old just aren't that good at anything yet. Except maybe Candyland. :)

Anyway, I have married someone who is not a game person. With the exception of video games. He can play those for hours (but he usually doesn't...at least, not now that we have a little mister around). When we get together for holidays and such with Ryan's family, we inevitably play a game. Or three. I think it's fantastic. Ryan and his father do not so much. Apparently he inherited his lack of love for playing games from his father. This year, though, even though we were there for Christmas for 3 days, we didn't play any games. It was so sad. This was the busiest we've ever been while we there. Well, let me rephrase that. This was the busiest we've ever been while we were there for a holiday. We (at least I was) were WAY busier last summer when Ryan's sister got married.

So it was terribly exciting to me when we were invited to a New Year's Eve party. For the sole purpose of having a game tournament. Now that's my kind of party! :) We played 4 hour-long games of Settlers of Catan. And if you haven't ever played that before, you're missing out. It can be kind of a long game (hence the hour limit on each game), and a little difficult to catch on to at first, but it's so fun! It helped that I won 3 of the 4 games I played :) Ryan didn't have quite as much fun as I did. But he puts up with things like this because he loves me. And I love him. Which makes those video games easier to deal with :)

I just need Cade to get a little older so he can play games with me, too!!