The cocoon

We've been in our little we-have-a-brand-new-baby cocoon. We haven't ventured out much (although we have gotten out more than I thought we would...I was convinced I would not eat at a restaurant again until Emma was 5). We've made it back to church (although 60-70% of our time there is spent in a hallway or nursing room with Emma). We've actually got a semi-routine down (which obviously still fluctuates a lot). I feel like we're almost actual members of society again. Sort of.

But I like our cocoon. As much as my kids drive me crazy sometimes (a particular 3 year old comes to mind), there's no place I'd rather be at 7:00 on a Friday night than here at home with the five of us (FIVE!! Yikes!). I love my friends dearly, and they help keep me sane (or at least keep me company as we all go insane). And friendships are important. But so is family. I would love to have people over to our house every night of the week because I love to be around people (especially since I'm just around little people all day every day). But that takes time away from our little family, who get precious little time all together anyway. So it's easier to just not. But is that what's best? I don't know.

Then throw in there the whole ministry part of our Christian faith. Who has time for that, either, when you're juggling a nursing newborn, a 17 month old who won't walk, and a 3 year old who's testing every boundary? It makes me tired just typing out the ages of our kids :) Again, it's just easier to stay wrapped in a little cocoon. But that's not what God has called us to do. I just have to figure out how to make everything work together.

Another change of heart

With my first two children, I sort of prided myself on not running to get them the instant they started crying. There are people on both sides of the fence, but I fell on the side of "nobody ever died from crying" and "sometimes you just need to let them cry it out" and "holding babies all the time and picking them up every time they cry will make them too dependent on you."

As with many things in my life that I have a very strong opinion about, I think God has slowly been changing me. Maybe it's because I'm older (and theoretically wiser). Maybe it's because I've done a lot of reading/research on it now. Maybe it's because we're planning on this being our last baby. Maybe it's because doing it the other way didn't prevent Ava from going through a months-long period of time where she would go to NO ONE but me. Maybe it's because this baby doesn't cry as much as the other two did. (But maybe THAT'S because I'm treating her differently...chicken or the egg??)

But.

I hold Emma. A lot. She takes a lot of her naps during the day in my arms. If she cries when she's in her bed, it's pretty much only for as long as it takes me (or Ryan in the middle of the night) to get there, or I just give her a minute to see if she'll calm herself down. I don't want to make her "cry it out." I want her to know that I am there for her, I will take care of her, and she doesn't need to be scared. There will be some adjustments once I'm solely in charge of all three kids, but right now, she's my priority. I'm not allowed to pick up Ava yet, and I have to be really careful with Cade so he doesn't pull on me or push on me near my incision, so I pretty much take care of Emma and have to let others take care of the older two (thank you, God, for amazing family who help out!!).

Simply because Emma is the third, and they're all three so close together in age, I know I'm going to be wearing her more, both from necessity and for her benefit. I have 2 carriers that I'm excited to use with her. I used both of them with Ava, but not until she was older, but she loved them. I hope Emma does, too.

She's here!

Miss Emma is one week old today! She's beautiful, perfect, and looks just like her big brother. :) So far, she loves her sleep (also like her brother and sister) and is pretty chill unless you mess with her by changing her diaper. We love her very much!

Current countdowns

My life is a series of countdowns right now...

13 days until my big kid goes to Papa and Nana Camp for 5 days

14 days until our 7th wedding anniversary (or 8th, depending on which wedding you count ;)

17 days until my 31st birthday

18 days until we close on the sale of our very first house and the purchase of our next one plus move all our possessions

21 days until my big kid starts swimming lessons for the first time

2 months minus one day until we're a family of FIVE (unless she decides to grace us with her presence earlier!)

I'm relatively sure that we could not possibly fit anything else into the next 3 months. And no, it's not stressful AT ALL. I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only pregnant women ever to pray to stay pregnant as long as possible in the months of July and August, when it's already hit 100 degrees in June ;)

More about THE house

Let me start by saying that after the first time we went inside this house-that-shall-soon-be-ours, we took it off the list. Not because we didn't like the house, but because it has a giant inground pool. Which will be great in about 5 years or so, but with 2 kids 3 and under and one more on the way, it's a little daunting. Ok, flat-out scary. The thought of one of my kids drowning terrifies me.

But after looking at EVERY house on the market in our price range with the right number of bedrooms, we were back to this house. So we went back. And liked it even more, after comparing it to all of the other options.

We went back again today for inspections. There are only minor things that need to be fixed. The inspector was very impressed with the quality of the house. And I love it even more. We got to visit with the homeowner quite a bit today, and it's evident that they love this house and took great care of it.

He told us about the neighbors and lots of little details about the house that would have taken us a year to figure out. And the more we find out about this house, the more it is completely obvious that THIS is the house that God planned for us. So many little details that Ryan and I have talked about wanting in a house, lots of things that were really just wishful thinking, are here. In this house. I'm just going to have to trust God to keep my babies safe around the pool. I'm pretty sure He can handle it ;)

I'm so excited. It's going to be a rough month packing and moving, but I know we can do it. It just amazes me how God takes care of us. Even in the desires of our hearts that aren't "needs."

New house

We got it!

House hunting

It's been a whirlwind week. I don't even know what day it is. It started last Saturday.

We went and looked at a few houses with our realtor. Didn't really find anything we loved. We left with instructions to call if there was anything that popped up that we wanted to see, but we were in no hurry.

We went and picked up the kids and dog from my mom's (they had all been over there because our house was being shown while we were out). About an hour after we got home, our realtor called and said she had an offer and could she bring it by about 45 minutes later. So my mom came over to entertain the kids and we met with our realtor. The offer was asking price with a few other things. We countered. They countered back. We countered again. They accepted. Closing is set for July 13. That's 5 weeks from today, y'all.

Sunday afternoon, we went back out and looked at around 10 more houses. Didn't love any of them. So Monday morning, I went and met with our realtor and we looked through every listing that remotely met our criteria. We came up with a list of about 10 more to look at. We went and looked at 2, then I had to go relieve the baby-sitter (thanks, Aunt Julia!). I got the kids, and our realtor and I drug (dragged?) them around to look at 5 more houses. You haven't really lived until you drag a 3 year old and a 1 year old in and out of the car repeatedly and into houses where they can't touch anything. Ha! But we survived.

There was one I wanted Ryan to see, so that evening, we took the kids and went to 4 or 5 other houses, plus the one we'd already been to that day. By the end of that night, we had 3 houses we were interested in, although there were things we didn't like about each of them.

Tuesday morning, one of those houses dropped in price (it was the most expensive of all of them). We decided to go back to that one and one other one that evening. After looking at them again, we decided to make an offer on the one with a pool. That was the main drawback to this particular house. We really liked pretty much everything else.

Our realtor got the contract done and we signed it Wednesday. She sent it to the other realtor that afternoon. We had put an expiration on the offer for today at 5 pm. If this one doesn't work out, we've got to move on something else very VERY soon to be able to do a closing on July 13.

Today at 4:30, we heard back finally. They countered. Not a great counter, but they had come down a little. Within 30 minutes, Ryan and I had decided what to counter back, and let our realtor know. She was going to give them until 10 pm tonight. So here we are. At 9:15. And we still haven't heard. So we're waiting...

Stay tuned...

Baby-wearing

I posted this link on Facebook earlier today, and wanted to share a little more about my thoughts...
http://www.everythingmomandbaby.com/2012/05/how-carrying-your-baby-front-facing-out.html?m=1

When Cade was a baby, I had a Jeep brand carrier that was borrowed from a friend. I used it several times, mainly when he was little and I was going to visit my former school. It was a great way to keep little germy fingers off of him. I think I only used it once with him facing out, but that was because by the time he was "allowed" to face out, he weighed a billion pounds and I didn't want to carry him like that :)

With Ava, I had a wrap that was borrowed from a friend. As I did research on the different ways I could use it, I kept running into information about "front facing out." Apparently, it's not healthy for babies' development for them to face out in a carrier. Not a problem, she was little bitty anyway, and liked to be snuggled up facing me.

As she got bigger, I used the wrap less, and then I had to give it back to my friend because she had a newborn. So I started looking into some other kind of carrier that I could still carry her in, and that could also go on my back. She was okay being on my front facing in, but I knew if I could put her on my back, she'd be able to see a lot more. I decided to go with a soft-structured carrier called a Boba. She loves it. It's ergonomically designed for mom and baby, and I can actually carry Cade in it if I want to.

Then my tummy started growing. I could still use my Boba for a while, but it eventually got uncomfortable (there's a strap across your midsection). So I started researching again, for something that I could carry Ava on my hip, and still be comfortable for her and me. I ended up getting a ring sling, which I can use to carry Ava (or new baby girl) on my front (facing in :), or on my hip, or even on my back. Ava LOVES being carried on my hip in the ring sling, and I love that my arms don't get tired having to hold her all the time when we're out. It's faster and easier to put her in it than messing with the stroller, and she's content to be in it for much longer than she stays happy in the stroller.

Any time spent wearing your baby is special bonding time, and I think it helps contribute to their emotional security. I just wanted to share the information I have found about safe baby-wearing and help educate those around me :)

Birthdays

One week ago, Cade turned 3. Today, Ava is 1. In between, we had a birthday party for both of them with the fam. I don't know how many years it will be "cool" to share a birthday party with your little sis, but Cade was delighted to this year.

I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed that afternoon. We've had 3 birthday parties for Cade and 1 for Ava in this house. Little tiny baby girl will not (if all goes according to plan...ha!) have any of her birthday parties here, and Cade and Ava won't have any more, either. The "plan" is for us to be in a new, bigger house by the time little tiny baby girl gets here. Obviously, several things have to happen first, so we'll see how it all actually plays out. And I'm excited for the possibility for our growing family to have more room, but this house holds so many memories...it's going to be hard to let go. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Girlfriend is one today, and I've been pregnant for almost half of her life. Good grief. No wonder I feel like it went so fast...I was tired, nauseous, and in shock for most of it :)

Happy birthday to my baby girl. And happy late birthday to my baby boy, who's not such a baby anymore. I love you both more than I can say.

Faithful instruction

The second part of Proverbs 31:26 says, "and faithful instruction is on her tongue." It got me to thinking today...how much of what I say to Cade could be considered "faithful instruction"? Considering that my most repeated words are no, stop, and don't do that, I'd say I definitely have room for improvement in that area.

When I stop and think about it, by the time I have to say no or stop to Cade, I'm already irritated. Because the majority of the time, it's something that he already has been told not to do. So I'm generally repeating myself, even if it's the first time I've said it that day. Which irritates me. I hate repeating myself. I also hate waiting. That means that when I tell Cade to stop doing something, I want it to stop right this very second. So when I have to repeat myself, I get really irritated really fast. It helps, when I think about it, to remind myself that he's only 2. Well, almost 3. But I don't always remember to think about that.

So back to the faithful instruction. I think I need to start focusing more on instructing, and less on correcting. That's not to say Cade doesn't still need correction...he definitely does. But I think if I can spend more time on faithful instruction, some of the correcting will take care of itself.

Things I would do well to remember

It's time to snap out of this. I wouldn't say that I've been having a pity party, but I certainly haven't been winning any awards for mother/wife/person of the year. It's been too easy to use (insert an excuse of your choosing here) as a valid reason to not do, well, pretty much anything I don't want to do. The excuses are completely valid: I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant and nursing, I have 2 kids 2 & under, I'm tired, I'm nauseous, our house is on the market (the most recent addition), and/or any combination of the aforementioned items.

Two things came to mind today as I was having a (long-overdue) quiet time:

First, my children are not mine. They are God's. He has entrusted them to me for an unknown period of time and He expects me to take care of them. They are/should be my first priority during the day. They are the reason I don't have a "real" job (although I dare anyone who hasn't been a stay-at-home mom to try it for a couple of days...it's more of a real job than anything else I can think of...but I digress :). There are no stipulations in the Bible about only having to do what God says when we feel like it, and I've been letting myself get away with less than my best because of my circumstances right now.

Second, I need to have a goal every day. I think for now, it is going to be to try to be like the Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31. I don't know how on earth it's possible to do even half of the things she allegedly did on a daily basis, but dadgum it, if I can just aim at having noble character, I'll be ahead in the ball game.

So now it's all out there on the world wide interwebz...hopefully that'll help motivate me.

Top 10 Reasons I Choose to Breastfeed

In honor (memory? :) of breastfeeding my babies, here are some reasons why I chose/choose to breastfeed and why I love it...

1. God created my body to be able to grow a baby for 9 months and nourish that baby with breastmilk for an indefinite period of time.

2. Because it's what God intended, it's the very best food I can possibly give my baby.

3. I always have it with me.

4. It's free (read: I am cheap. :)

5. There are lots of health benefits for me, as well as for my baby.

6. I'm lazy (formula is way too much work!!)

7. I don't have to worry about how much I should put in a bottle (read: I don't like having to make a second bottle because the first wasn't big enough and I don't like there being any left at the end because that's wasteful! :)

8. It helps calm babies, even if they aren't hungry.

9. I love that special bond.

10. It's the very best food I can give my baby. (It deserves to be repeated :)

There are actually about a bajillion more reasons. I'm proud to have nursed my babies and toughed it out when it wasn't easy. I'm proud to have put their needs before my desires (because really, after 9 months or pregnancy, who doesn't want their whole body back?). I'm very passionate about breastfeeding, and love to help new mamas get started by sharing my experiences. It can be scary and hard, but it is so worth it.

Mama Trauma

Last week was a rough week. It became increasingly evident that my milk supply was dropping. A lot. (Thank you, pregnancy) So I began the process of weaning Ava from nursing and putting her on formula. There were many tears involved. Pretty much just on my part. Ava FINALLY decided she could drink from a bottle, for the first time since she was born. But I guess it hadn't been necessary before...I'm just glad we didn't have to fight that battle along with everything else.

Next, Cade decided to skip his nap 3 days in a row. I thought for sure he was giving up his nap for good, and with a pregnant mama, that was traumatic, to say the least. I'm happy to say, however, he's now napped 4 days in a row, so I'm hoping last week was just a fluke. Please, God. :)

And, last but not least, my baby brother was getting married. Got married. On Saturday. I wasn't really prepared for all of the emotions that were involved with that. I mean, I know I'm pregnant and hormonal, blah, blah, blah, but I just didn't think it would affect me as much as it did. Have I mentioned that I spent a lot of time crying last week? Because I did. But he's married now, and we all made it through the wedding - super-cute, ornery ringbearer and all :)

So this week, it's just the weaning. And it's still taking its toll. I'm still able to nurse once or (on a good day) twice a day, but I hate giving her formula. Hate it. HATE IT. But this too shall pass, right? And in just 5 short (Lord help me!) months, I'll be starting all over again with a new one. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Second trimester

Whew. I made it to the second trimester. And not a second too soon. February was spent in a blur of nausea and force-feeding myself. Oh, and naps. Tomorrow I'll be 14weeks, and the nausea is mostly gone on most days. I still have a hard time coming up with stuff I want to eat, though, which is super-frustrating when I need to be eating constantly so I don't get nauseous. Oh, the joyous Catch-22s of pregnancy :)

Oh, and meat...there were a few weeks there when the thought of any type of meat was enough to make me gag instantly. Chicken was the first thing to return to my diet, but only specific kinds (like Taco Bueno chicken potato burritos with no sour cream and no lettuce), and I still can't cook it. Ham and turkey are pretty much okay now, too. But beef. Oh, dear. I fear it may be permanently removed from my diet. At least ground beef. And I haven't been able to eat a QuikTrip hot dog in months! I may or may not have eaten 3-4 of those a week while I was pregnant with Ava. I've managed steak in a burrito from a local restaurant, but that's it. This is particularly frustrating because I have an entire freezer full of various kinds of beef. If this lasts much longer, my friends may reap the benefits... :)

At this point, I'd say this pregnancy is more similar to Cade's than Ava's, so Ryan and I are both thinking this may be another boy. But who knows?

B3

We'll be welcoming a 3rd baby into our family this August! Certainly wasn't on my agenda yet, but God had other plans :)

Needless to say, I was completely shocked last week when I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I was getting ready to start some antibiotics and thought I should just check, even though I knew there was really no chance that I could possibly be pregnant. Ha! Wait, it gets better.

Warning: this might be a little TMI for the male population (just in case there might be some out there...which I doubt...but the disclaimer is there, nonetheless)...

I'm still nursing baby girl. Like all the time. She doesn't really nurse much less often now than she did as a newborn. Seriously. So that decreases my chances of getting pregnant. Not only that, but I hadn't had a period since she was born, either. Another decrease. Oh, wait. And then there's that whole thing about how I had a tubal pregnancy that ruptured my left tube and it was removed. Another decrease. Oh, and we were using a method of birth control. Right. Ok, so you add that all together, and you get...a pregnancy planned by God. Not me. Oh, and I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow. Just found out. Last week. Yeah.

You will not ever hear me say that this pregnancy is a mistake or that it shouldn't have happened. God's timing and plans are perfect and I totally trust Him. Will this be stressful? Without a doubt. Will it cause me to lean more heavily on God to get me through? I'm thinking that might be a big part of His plan. Having two 2 and under is not a simple task, but it's been a little easier than I expected. And I, being me, have characteristically tried to do it my way, rather than asking for help. Having three 3 and under scares the pee out of me. So yes, I believe I will be taking God up on His offer to be in charge. Because who even knows what these children will end up like if I don't. Scary.

Also, I'll be around until August (or until it gets too hot). After that, I'll catch all y'all in approximately 2014. Give or take a month.

Only child

Ava has gotten to enjoy being an only child for the past several days. Cade has been visiting his grandparents in a neighboring state since Friday. So he's gotten to enjoy being an only child there, as well.

I've missed my buster brown, but it's been so great to have some extra one-on-one time with baby girl (and the extra sleep has been appreciated as well...Ava and I both have gotten more sleep than when Cade is here :). And I know Cade has enjoyed the time with his grandparents and great-grandparents. It's a win-win :)

But he's headed back as I type, and I am definitely ready to see him!

Here's Girlfriend this morning...she's so stinkin' cute (she was trying to peek around the phone so she could see me :)

A sitter!

My big girl (she's not big, she's not big, she's just a baby, she's just a baby!) is sitting by herself now. She's been working on it for a couple of weeks now, but just last week is when she really started being able to sit for longer periods of time without toppling over. And even sometimes catch herself when she does topple over.

There's still a crazy 2 year old who runs around and makes her fall over, but hey, what are big brothers for?

So far, it seems girlfriend is on just a little slower timeframe than Cade was (and that's totally fine by me!). He started sitting at 6.5 months, she was 8. His first 2 teeth were at 6 months, her first one was around 7.5 months and now she's working on the second one. We waited longer to start her on solids, so she nurses a lot more than he did at this age.

It's only been 2 years since we did this with Cade, but it's so amazing how differently we parent her. You learn a lot with your first. Some of the things we changed are simply out of necessity (Ava doesn't spend lots and lots of time playing on the floor because there's a rowdy 2 year old running around...Cade did). Some things are different because I've done more research and reading (waiting to start solids a little longer this time). And some things are different because we know how quickly this phase passes by (I'm not setting a date for weaning her like I did Cade...even though she won't take a bottle and therefore has to be with me constantly). Oh, and she's a girl (which means we have a tendency to snuggle her and be gentle with her more than we did with Cade).

Snuggles

The boy is at preschool today, so it's just me and baby girl. She's still fighting a little bit of a cough, and she thinks she's big, so she doesn't want to snuggle like she used to. But last night before bed, we got to snuggle for a while, and she's being pretty snuggly again right now.

I love this girl.

Pictures

One of my goals this year is to document what's going on with my kiddos a little better. We'll see how well that goes :)

Today, we've been working on a little potty training. We've done this off and on for a while, so Cade definitely knows what to do. It's now just a matter of getting him to want to. We made it from waking up this morning until naptime in underwear with no accidents, with approximately 9 trips to the potty. Seriously.

Here are my 2 babies...Cade is watching some Diego-go as a reward and Ava is playing.