First day of preschool

Cade started preschool today. It's only 5 hours. And right now, it's only once a week. But still...I was a mess last night.

I cried while I was getting all of his stuff together last night. I cried while Ryan and I were praying before we went to sleep. And then this morning...I was ok. I prayed with Cade before we got Ava up, and I got a little teary while I was praying, but it made me feel better. I know that no matter what, God is in control and is watching over my sweet boy when I'm not with him. For that matter, He's in control and watches over Cade when I AM with him :)

It's been really rough around here lately. And that's one of the reasons that we needed to do this. It'll be good for Cade socially, and I know that he'll learn some things earlier than he probably would being here with me and Ava, just because Ava needs so much attention right now. It'll be good for me to have a break from him every now and then (can I just say that it was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G to eat lunch by myself??? [Ava was napping]). It'll be good for Ava to have some peace and quiet and undivided attention from Mommy. I know this is the right thing for our family right now.

But. That little boy has been with me all day every day since he was born. Two years, 4 months, and 13 days ago. The times he's been away from me have been with family. It's hard for me to know that he's having experiences that I'm not a part of. It's hard for me to let go and trust that someone else is capable of taking care of him. It's hard for me to let someone else teach him new things. But I am. With God's help. And a few tears. :)